


A Crisis of Conscience

by Living_Free



Series: Slip and Slide [17]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Damian feels jelly, Dick is ready with hugs, Gen, Hugs are magical, Jason Todd is Red X, Jason is having a crisis of conscience, Tim didn't want a hug, Tim gets a hug, batbros, batfamily, dick and jason have a moment, jason is in therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 21:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Jason feels his past weighing on him, and comes clean, violently excreting emotions along the way.Dick is ready to heal his brother with his patented All Purpose Hugs (TM).Together, they may just come out stronger.





	A Crisis of Conscience

For the past few days, Jason had been feeling pretty down. Not physically, mind you. He was as healthy as a horse, hadn't so much as a sniffle. But mentally? Hoo boy.

It had started when Alfred had convinced Jason to start doing therapy sessions with him, in order to help Jason overcome his demons and become a better and less murderous man. Said sessions included doting grandpa/counsellor, tea, cookies, and no judgement whatsoever. A pretty good deal, if Jason said so himself. 

If only he knew. 

Bringing up the past also resulted in a lot of grief when you had to deal with your conscience rearing it's bug ugly head for all the shitty things you did. And now, Jason was sitting on the sofa, a cup of tea and his own guilty mind keeping him company. His mind flashed from memory to memory, each casting him in a steadily poorer light.

Bad Jason. Horrible Jason. Mean Jason. 

"Little Wing? Are you alright? You don't look so good." 

Jason looked up and saw Dick looking at him concernedly. "Do you have a headache, Jay?" Dick asked. 

Unable to talk around the lump in his throat, Jason just nodded. 

Cruel, lying, Jason.

Dick came over and sat down beside Jason, and pulled him down so that Jason's head was resting in Dick's lap. Then, Dick slowly started to work his fingers through Jason's hair, massaging his scalp. "Oh, you're so tense, Jay," Dick said worriedly. 

Jason hummed lowly in the back of his throat and closed his eyes, unable to look up at the pure sunbeams that seemed to shine from Dick 'Angel' Grayson's face. He couldn't bear to look up and see a man who loved him, despite all the cruelty that he'd shown him. 

Dick started to hum a song as he worked through the tense skin of Jason's forehead, one that Jason couldn't recognize. It sounded like a lullaby, he thought dimly, wondering if it was one Dick's mother or father had used to sing to him. Was it in his mother-tongue? Jason wondered what language Dick originally spoke. He had heard snatches of the lilting tongue, but away from his parents, away from his ancestral homeland somewhere in Europe, Dick could only ever talk to himself. 

Anyway, back to Jason's tragedy. 

Jason had never really taken the time to make up with Dick, not really. When Bruce had vanished, he and Dick had been forced to come together, for the sake of the younger kids, and for the sake of their own sanities, and also because Alfred had told them to, in no uncertain terms. 

They had never talked about the past. About the hurt, the harsh words, the punches, and the tears. The last one had been mostly on Dick's side - Jason had trained his tear ducts to suck any emotional secretions up as soon as they had been released. 

Red Hood hadn't even been the beginning. It had started with Robin. Jason knew now how Dick must have felt to see another boy in his shoes. The feeling of betrayal was unimaginable, it felt like a thousand stomach ulcers all at one, ripping through the lining of his gut. And while Dick had angsted and argued with Bruce, Jason wasn't much better.

In fact, he'd gone so far as to do worse. 

In his free time, Jason had adopted another persona - that of a villain - and stalked his big brother at his residence in Jump City, home of the Titans. Robin's nemesis, the bane of the Titan's existence, the prolific Red X had been born from Jason's petty desire to annoy his older brother and to see exactly why Bruce was so hung up on his first son. 

He'd gone up against Dick repeatedly, kicking and punching and throwing him around, but always scampering back home when the night was done, because let's be real - Jason knew that in a fair fight, Dick outclassed him. So Jason had gone home, feeling petty and tired and angry that his big brother was the shining beacon of perfection that everyone said that he was. 

Nasty Jason. Ugly Jason. Inferior Jason.

Above him, Dick kept humming and massaging Jason's head like the oblivious chipmunk that he was. Dick finished up the massage and carded his fingers through Jason's hair, and leaned down to gently plant a little kiss on top of his head. 

"Feeling better, Jaybird?"

Jason scrunched his face up from the intensity of the pain and guilt and shame flooding his body, but managed to open his mouth and-

-burst into tears. 

Jason didn't quite recall what happened immediately afterwards, but roughly ten minutes later, he was very warm and very wet, on account of being hugged by Dick and crying all over himself. He could feel Dick's panicked heartbeat, thumping against his cheek like a jackrabbit. 

Stupid Jason. Unworthy Jason.

Jason gave a final sniffle and sat up, rubbing tears from his face. "Sorry," he grunted, still unable to meet Dick's concerned gaze. "I'll just...go," he muttered, only to feel himself sinking back into Dick's embrace, his back pressed to Dick's chest as his elder brother peppered little butterfly kisses in his hair.

"I am a twenty two year old man," Jason said, "I don't need for you to give me the same type of kissies that you give to bid Damian goodnight."

"I was concerned, Little Wing," Dick said softly.

"I am also concerned," Jason said, "that Roy will smell the ridiculous perfume that you wear on me, and think that I am cheating on him with a girl."

"But you're gay, Jaybird."

"I know. I'm making a point."

"Jay," Dick said seriously, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Why would you help me!?"

Dick looked strangely at Jason. It reminded him of the look Tim sometimes gave Bruce when he did or said something unforgivably stupid, usually with regards to one of Tim's hacking softwares or his latest technological marvel.

"Because!" Jason cried, and then slumped. "I'm...bad," he said softly. 

Dick cocked his head. "You're not bad, Jay. You were hurt, and you lashed out. But you're still a good person who loved and cared for his family no matter what-"

"But I didn't!" Jason howled, embarking upon another tearful wail. "I've not been good to anyone! I stabbed Tim, I broke Alfie's heart, I did god knows what to Bruce, and I- you!"

"Me what?" Dick asked, confused. "You didn't hurt me, Jay."

"But I did," Jason sniffled. "When I was..." Jason looked at Dick, who sat waiting patiently for him to finish. "When I was Red X, the Jump City thief from when you were still with the teen titans. I was awful and petty and cruel and mean and why are you smiling at me, Dickface!?"

Dick burst out laughing and Jason harrumphed unhappily. "Little Wing," Dick giggled, "is that what you were worried about? That was so long ago!"

"Yeah, but I still hurt you and your friends, and now you all think that I'm this super nice guy who has his shit together-"

"Jay," Dick smiled softly, and pulled Jason in so that his head rested against Dick's chest, "I knew who Red X was."

"Pardon you?" Jason asked, squinting up at Dick, who looked amused. 

"Honestly, Jay, I knew it was you from the second time that we fought. I knew your fighting style, and you were young and confident enough to think that I wouldn't notice that you were pulling some of my patented Robin moves."

Jason's jaw dropped. "W-what? So you-"

"Well, I thought that if you weren't hurting anyone or yourself, and you were just having a bit of fun, then it would be cathartic and I wouldn't stop you," Dick said. "Besides, you only ever came after me, and it wasn't even that hard."

Jason gaped. Little teenage Jason had put his all into the Red X ruse, and spent ages perfecting his fighting technique against Dick, and now he was finding out that the whole time, Dick was humoring him-?

"I told the rest of the Titans to lay off of you, and I even had to get Slade to not shoot at you once," DIck said severely. "He saw us fighting and he's very protective of me."  
Jason's axis tilted and he went sprawling on the floor. "Fucking Deathstroke knew? And all the Titans?" He screeched. 

"It was cute," Dick said, hauling Jason back onto the sofa. "Besides, I thought I had at least a bit of it coming, you know? I wasn't the best big brother back then," he admitted guiltily. 

Jason stared at Dick, woh smiled at him sheepishly. "But we've moved forward from that," he said, "and I'd like to think that we can forgive each other for the past."

"Huh," Jason said. "Is that why you're so lovey dovey with Damian and Tim? You're making up for the past?"

Dick cocked his head. "What? I'm not lovey dovey, I love them both the normal amount."

Egads. So this was Dick when he was being normal? Jason shuddered. He was grateful that he had got the slightly distant version in the past. "Trust me, Dickie, there is nothing normal about you," he grumbled. 

Dick laughed. "It's always been different with you, Jay. You weren't like any other kid that I knew, always so independent and brash," he admitted, "and sometimes, I didn't know where I stood with you with regards to being a mentor or a friend. But I've always known two things."

"Don't say it-"

"You're my brother, and I'll always love you."

"Gross," Jason said, but smiled, resulting in another cascade of giggles from Dick. "Hey Dick?"

"Yeah, Jay?"

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Dick smiled. "I know, Jay, and I'm sorry too. But we've done so well, haven't we?"

Jason thought about the past couple of years, managing a family with Dick, raising Damian, coaxing Tim out of his self-destructive shell, getting married, and having Dick stand up for him at the altar as his best man. He'd meant all of it, and he'd enjoyed every second of it. 

Jason wiped the tear tracks from his face and huffed a laugh. "Do you think, in ten years time, we'll get to see Tim and Damian doing this?"

"I hope so," Dick said. "I feel closer to you than ever, Little wing."

"So gross."

But they smiled together, and that was what counted. 

***

A few days later, Dick walked into the kitchen to make breakfast and spied Jason at the table, bright and early. "Good morning, Jaybird!" He trilled, and set about making pancakes.

"Bon matin, Dick."

Dick paused. "Bon matin, Jay-oiseau. Why are you speaking French?"

"Aren't you French?"

"No..."

"Merde."

***

"Guten tag, Dickface."

"Guten tag, Kleiner Flügel. I'm quite sure that I'm not German."

"No?"

"Nope," Dick confirmed.

"Scheiße."

***

"Godmorgen, ældste bror."

"I'm not Danish, Jay."

"For fanden!"

***

"Jay, why have you been practicing your languages with me?"

"Because!" Jason yelled, looking up from Google Translate, "I'm trying to figure out where you're from. I asked Bruce, but he just said 'mostly European," like that means anything."

"Well, he's right," Dick said. "I never lived in anyone place a a child, the circus always toured all over Europe. But my father was of English and Romani descent, and my mom was full Romani. I grew up speaking Sinte Romani, one of the variants of the main branch. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to do something nice for you," Jason grumbled, "because I was a rotten little brother in the past. When I heard you yakking to yourself, I felt kinda bad, so I thought that I'd talk to you."

Dick's eyes brimmed over with emotion. "Oh, Jay! You were never a bad brother!" He cried, pulling him in for a hug. Jason accepted the hug with a little grumble, just to keep to the theme. 

"Yeah, you weren't awful either, Dickhead."

This was the scene that the rest of the family walked in on - a deliriously happy Dick and a slightly blushing Jason, al wrapped up in his big brother's hug. 

Predictably, Damian was jealous. 

"Good morn, Grayson," he announced archly. Then, as if to make a point, "And good morn to you, Drake." Slowly, he reached over to a terrified Tim, and performed the most horrific facsimile of an embrace that anyone had ever performed, culminating in Damian's tiny head nestled in Tim's gut area, and his arms and little gremlin fingers spread over Tim's back. 

Dick cooed at the sight. "Good morning, Dami, Timmy!" 

"I love this family," Jason announced, meaning every word. "It's the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Dick, Cass, is someone filming this, I swear to god, someone film this."

"I am filming," Cass the ever dependable said. 

"Best sister," Jason praised. 

"Best brother," Cass replied, eliciting yet another blush on Jason's cheeks. He sought to make an escape, but ended up in Dick's arms once more, and resigned himself to a long hug.

"Sigh."

Dick just giggled and held his little brother. "You know, she's right. You are the best brother," he sang, only so Jason could hear.

Jason chuckled. "Right back at'cha, Dickface. Right back at'cha."

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> French:
> 
> "Bon matin, Dick." - Good Morning, Dick.
> 
> "Bon matin, Jay-oiseau." - Good morning, Jaybird.
> 
> "Merde." - Shit.
> 
> ***  
> German:
> 
> "Guten tag, Dickface." - Good day, Dickface.
> 
> "Guten tag, Kleiner Flügel." - Good day, Little Wing.
> 
> "Scheiße." - Fuck.
> 
> ***  
> Danish:
> 
> "Godmorgen, ældste bror." - Good morning, eldest brother.
> 
> "For fanden!" - Fuck's sake!
> 
> ~ German and Danish translations courtesy of Google translate, only my French is somewhat passable :P ~


End file.
